For a very long tIme, I thought that rIch people were basically mean. And because of that point of view I decided that poor people must be kind. at was not my brightest moment. So, I decided that in order not to be like my parents and in order to become kind I therefore must also become poor. This unconscious decision created a path I set in motion for my life as a young girl.
I rebelled against the idea of marrying for money, God forbid, which is what my father recommended. I resisted that encouragement and yes, I was not aware for many years that I was actually creating a poverty consciousness in every area of my life. I created poverty in all my relationships by resisting anyone who was lthy rich. I never really thought about money too much and always expected it would be there. Some ambiguous place called “there” is where I thought money would be. Looking back, it was blind faith and also, not my brightest choice...
Up until 2008 I never really worried about money. I always had plenty and I managed a home, sent two children to private schools, lived within a budget and established an art gallery. I also contributed to my favorite charities and community all without any emotional support from family. In fact, I thought I was a self-proclaimed super girl
THE NEW REALITY
Then, in 2008, two things occurred. First, the worldwide economy crashed and my portfolio suffered. Second, my unclear and unhealthy 97-year old father died, leaving behind a chaotic mess. There were more wills than you can count on two hands, and just about as many lawyers involved. I was stunned, angry and confused and unfortunately, I did not have a family lawyer, or even a business advisor that I could trust to call on to give me advice. So, I asked a friend. Lesson learned? Never ever, ever ask a friend to help you make a decision about whether to challenge a will or what lawyer to use.
Before I could steady myself and get off this rollercoaster I was deep into a lawsuit, and not for the reasons I desired at all. It was all so bizarre, unreal and hideous. At 50 years old, I was shocked to find out that suddenly I had less money and no substantial inheritance coming from Daddy. I had fallen victim to a situation that I had never imagined was possible. Going through the gamut of emotional extremes, I recognized I had a choice to sink or swim. Wow, that was one of the most liberating results of this family dispute.
I had been correct all my life, my knowing was spot on about each and every family member. In truth, I was not liked nor cared for at all, and had I not challenged the will I would have been run over and left for dead. Once I decided to make lemonade out of all the lemons that were thrown my way, life became easier and I began to allow myself to perceive exactly how courageous I truly was. That is how I survived an abusive childhood followed with years of neglect and lack of emotional attention. I was now able to move out of survival mode and into creating a future. What did that mean to me? (See Part 2 HERE)
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